admiral advice needed ASAP

[Watto]

Hi all,

So I'm spending a long weekend sailing with the admiral, her first time on a yacht, before we commit to buying a mac, and we have discovered she has panic attacks as soon as the boat heals at all. She knows the logic and physics preventing capsize, but her "illogical" female side doesn't care and spazzes out. We have 2 more days of sailing, but she's extremely reluctant to step foot onboard again. This also puts a scanner in the works for our future waterborne plans (including 2 weeks sailing in the Greek isles for our honeymoon)

Any sage advice would be much appreciative, as I so not want this to be a ME sport, but an US sport

[ChuckieTodd]

First, patience. She must know you understand her feelings. Think of something you would never do then imagine someone else thinking you're "spazzing" when you won't do it. Then, put her in control. If you're sailing a tiller-steered boat, this is easy. Once she realizes she can't pull the tiller hard enough to "flip" the boat, she'll gain confidence in it.

[Obelix]

I know the feeling, my wife was the same way.
What worked for us was to start by mostly motoring and put the reefed main up only in very light winds.
Slowly increasing the heal, depowering the sails when needed while always watching her face
We are sailing on the San Francisco Bay where light winds are hard to find.
My wife is mostly fine now, she only starts looking funny when we exceed about 15-20 degrees of heel.
Then I depower the sails and keep the heel at about 15 degrees for a while.

Good luck

Obelix

If the Admiral ain't happy, the whole crew is miserable!

[Crikey]

Nice calm sailing at first! Steady as she goes - no Americas Cup stuff (remember Fremantle),buy a waterbed and definately put the Admiral in charge.....

If that doesn't work, try alchohol.

[Obelix]

Crickey is absolutely correct, get her on the wheel and show her that turning into the wind will immediatly reduce the heel.

Obelix

[dr_soarus]

We did a couple of things. First, I let her man the helm. With a lot of close instruction and practice, she developed a sense of ease at the controls and became more comfortable with the characteristics of the boat. Second, we had new cockpit cushions made which keep her from sliding about when we heel over pretty good. The only problem is she now really thinks she is the Admiral and I've been demoted to 1st mate. I still love it every time we go out though.

[NiceAft]

I realize that you only have two days left, but patience. You need to get her back on the boat so you can demonstrate your control. As soon as the boat heels, show her how everything gets calm as soon as you release the mainsheet and let the sail go free. Also, wear your PFD's. Safety is a good security blanket.

Ray

[Trouts Dream]

I allow anyone that is nervous about healing to man the mainsheet on my X. I show them that by letting the main out the boat instantly loses a lot of the heal and they can control it without impacting on the boat heading much. I tried the to let them handle the helm but that just increased their fear.

Interestingly, once people know they can control the heel they tend to push it to at least the edge of their comfort because...THEY HAVE CONTROL.

[Gazmn]

A good friend once told me:

Happy wife : Happy Life...

[Catigale]

Admiral of the boat in our house founder anxiety was low level sea sickness

Bodine worked miracles for this. Don't rush it,even if it means waiting for a year.

[Hamin' X]

Take a sailing class together. This will not only give the Admiral confidence in herself, but confidence in you, as well. Having an instructor run a boat through her paces, will give her confidence in the boat. After that: Patience.

All of the above advice came from my Admiral, after I related your problem to her.

~Rich

[LOUIS B HOLUB]

My marina neighbor (slip next to me) was caught in a Galveston Bay squall last year --his Admiral, and Grandson aboard. I was in the marina when they were towed in...and his Admiral vows never to sail again. She cell phoned the coast guard, and 911 in total panic, and was very traumatized during the brief storm. The Captain says she actually had no reasons to be so fearful...the boat was not in any danger. So, now he is a solo sailor with his grand kids, and grown kids...they enjoy anchorage and Galveston Bay fishing. (His Admiral now stays off the boat, unless motoring along shorelines, in protected waters, in CALM WINDs...

The above event is a true story--fair weather sailing is to be considered with certain Admirals which are easily traumatized. (TIP: Do not frighten the Admiral).

[bscott]

2 X on taking a private sailing lesson and have her man the traveler/main sheet. This way she controls how much heal is comfortable. Make sure the instructor does a "hove to" to demonstrate just how stable a sail boat can be. We go to hove to when ever we take a break or have lunch, or take a potty break.

Good advice on motoring about for a few days, then reefed main-no jib, work your way up to a full rig--it might take an entire season.

The real beauty of the Mac is you can douse the sails at any time and motor off into the sunset

Bob

[Trouts Dream]

I was asked to clean a bathroom and vaccuum the living area once....I was so tramatized by the event that I swore I would never do it again.

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
— Mark Twain

[rwmiller56]

My admiral is the same way sometimes. We are also on SFO Bay, where light winds are almost non-existent. What I do is get out there fairly early in the morning before the wind picks up. We sail around in the light winds and get comfortable. When it gets close to 1 or 2 pm, when the small craft advisory usually kicks in, I'll continue to sail, but keep a close eye on how she is handling it. Having her active in handling the jib or main sheets helps alot, as she realizes that the boat is under control. By the time the wind kicks up to 20+ kts, we've already sailed quite a few miles, so we'll head into the wind and drop the sails, and motor back to the marina. Even so, I still usually feel like we've had a fulfilling day and a nice sail. I also plan the trip so the last few tacks will put us fairly near the harbor entrance, so we don't have to beat into the heavy chop too long on the way in.

Roger