Went out to get a fix Sunday and ran into Scott with his brand new shinny
Mods to come sailboat. any way we talked for some time and he was going to putzs with his boat for awhile so Karen Bridgett the wonder dog
and I went out for some nice 10-15 knott winds. Well the wind dropped down some and it was the perfect op. to let karen get used to the boat on her own. With main up only, sailing in fog doing about 3 mph she was able to get alot out of the day. No heeling lots of time to learn the chart plotter, and sail handling. I kicked back let her do everything. I answered some questions about fog speed and distance but for the most part she did it all. She was able to take the time to get used to systems I take for granted. She was amazed at the chartplotter being able to show her just where she was even though she couldnt see more then a half a mile. She was able to mess with the main to get the most out of the light air for hours. I learned that although Im comfortable with 20 knott winds and flying at warp speed with the Mac, she was barely comfortable with the conditions we had Sunday. She really was scared those times I took her out in the fun stuff. ( How could she be scared? I wasnt) well I know now how, because she never had the time to do what we did Sunday.
she didnt have a clue that the gps would get her back, she didnt have the confidence to sail it by herself for any reason. Why because I never took the time to wait for her. In my hurry to get all I could from our little boat I left her behind. So now I know and Ill be sailing a lot more days when the wind is below 10 knotts just for her.
she just got promoted from rail meat to crew.......and Im buying one of those funky Capt. hats our grandfathers wore when they bought the little 16 foot run about. You know the kind, because the capt just learned how to be a capt.
Went sailing Sunday, well for a ride anyway...
-
aya16
- Admiral
- Posts: 1362
- Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:29 am
- Location: LONG BEACH CALIF Mac M 04 WHITE
I cant believe it none of you guys have wives/ girlfriends and do the same thing?
How many you guys do the same thing and have plowed through the sailing thing and left the little woman behind? Raise your voice when they
dont get whats suposed to be done? I the only one? The rest of you guys are the perfect mate always understanding and considerate? Come on
some of you guys put admiral out there like shes going to think that thats enough. I learned something sunday and wanted to pass it on
so because Im a realist and think most of you guys do the same thing.
are you guys in self denial? or am i the only guy here that scare the crap out of the little woman and feel that she just needs to get over it?
Karen had the best day out on the boat so far in two years, and at first all I thought about was I wish there was more wind. She didnt even want to go home or head in that day. She wants to go back and sail again as soon as possible!!!!! Did I find a solution to a problem no one has but me?
Having Karen go sailing with me in the past was more important than any
thing and I just found out she went because I wanted her to go not because she wanted too. What a trooper shes been.
If you guys have had the perfect mate that really wants to go sailing with you, then how about a few pointers from you. Dont let me feel around in the dark and screw this up come on give up your secrets.......
How many you guys do the same thing and have plowed through the sailing thing and left the little woman behind? Raise your voice when they
dont get whats suposed to be done? I the only one? The rest of you guys are the perfect mate always understanding and considerate? Come on
some of you guys put admiral out there like shes going to think that thats enough. I learned something sunday and wanted to pass it on
so because Im a realist and think most of you guys do the same thing.
are you guys in self denial? or am i the only guy here that scare the crap out of the little woman and feel that she just needs to get over it?
Karen had the best day out on the boat so far in two years, and at first all I thought about was I wish there was more wind. She didnt even want to go home or head in that day. She wants to go back and sail again as soon as possible!!!!! Did I find a solution to a problem no one has but me?
Having Karen go sailing with me in the past was more important than any
thing and I just found out she went because I wanted her to go not because she wanted too. What a trooper shes been.
If you guys have had the perfect mate that really wants to go sailing with you, then how about a few pointers from you. Dont let me feel around in the dark and screw this up come on give up your secrets.......
-
ssichler
- First Officer
- Posts: 342
- Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 9:22 am
- Location: Redondo Beach, CA 06 M 60hp E-Tec
Mike,
Good seeing you guys Sunday. Glad you guys a great day out. I think you make a lot of good points. In addition to increasing the her enjoyment of sailing by having a competent partner on board it's also a safety issue. If she can't start the engine or work the sails and you go over board you could be in a lot of trouble. Note to self show wife how to work new engine.
-Scott
Good seeing you guys Sunday. Glad you guys a great day out. I think you make a lot of good points. In addition to increasing the her enjoyment of sailing by having a competent partner on board it's also a safety issue. If she can't start the engine or work the sails and you go over board you could be in a lot of trouble. Note to self show wife how to work new engine.
-Scott
-
Don T
- Admiral
- Posts: 1084
- Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2004 7:13 pm
- Sailboat: MacGregor 26X
- Location: 95 2600 "SS OTTER" - Portland OR - Tohatsu 50 - Hull#64 (May 95)
Hello:
Lynn & I love to go sailing. She was raised in Hawaii and sailed hobie cats as a teenager. I didn't start sailing until I met a friend who took me out when I was in my 30's. We consider it an US activity. We bought the boat as our wedding present and every day out is another honeymoon. She skippers while under sail and I generally pilot when docking. She knows most of the systems on the boat but we have more to go before she would be comfortable by herself. I can do it by myself but wouldn't be comfortable. She doesn't drive while towing and has not practiced the backing up thing. I am mechanical and electrical by nature & training and she is a nurse. We figure as a team we have things pretty well covered. We do tend to fall into our ruts during set up, launching and boating. Our memories fade so we try to rotate tasks to keep us fresh. Makes for good video too cuz' one of us can usually get a shot of the other "performing." This has been the year for change though. It's the first time the boat went sailing without us (a friend borrowed it) and the first time we'll go sailing together without the boat (chartered a big boat with friends up in the San Juans).
Don
Lynn & I love to go sailing. She was raised in Hawaii and sailed hobie cats as a teenager. I didn't start sailing until I met a friend who took me out when I was in my 30's. We consider it an US activity. We bought the boat as our wedding present and every day out is another honeymoon. She skippers while under sail and I generally pilot when docking. She knows most of the systems on the boat but we have more to go before she would be comfortable by herself. I can do it by myself but wouldn't be comfortable. She doesn't drive while towing and has not practiced the backing up thing. I am mechanical and electrical by nature & training and she is a nurse. We figure as a team we have things pretty well covered. We do tend to fall into our ruts during set up, launching and boating. Our memories fade so we try to rotate tasks to keep us fresh. Makes for good video too cuz' one of us can usually get a shot of the other "performing." This has been the year for change though. It's the first time the boat went sailing without us (a friend borrowed it) and the first time we'll go sailing together without the boat (chartered a big boat with friends up in the San Juans).
Don
-
KaiSchuler
- Deckhand
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:32 pm
Let her take the helm
I absolutely can relate to ayas post. I am in somewhat of a similar situation. My wife no boating experience in all her life (before she met me). Then, with the Mac our first boat, I approached it a little differently. I did not feel confident to teach her how to handle the boat (I do o.k. on my own, but not good enough to teach someone properly).
Therefore, I got in touch with a very talented sailor, marina manager in a closeby marina. We arranged he come by on a Monday afternoon when there is not much going on in our marina (very little traffic around the docks etc).
The three of us, we got the boat ready together, I explained the specialties of the MacGregor (since our instructor had never sailed one), explained my routine of getting the boat ready. Then we discussed what our objectives were for this appointment and following appointments.
Then we took off, the instructor and myself suggested she take the first turn. She was a little uncomfortable with the idea of steering the boat on her own. But instructor explained very casually what the next steps should be, that he would stand by, and not to worry. I went forward, handled the dock lines, and off we went.
To make a long story (and a beautiful afternoon) short, she did a TERRIFIC job. After manouvering around our marina a little while, doing turns, full circles, through outlets, .... we pacticed docking (with the wind, into the wind, T-Dock, Box, Fuel Dock, ... you name it). After a short while she really enjoyed it. Our instructor showd us a few tricks, some of which were totally new to me, too. Then, after a few hours, we docked pointing into the wind. Played around with the sails a little bit (furling jib out and back in, main sail up and down again, ...). Then I took the helm, and we basically did the same program. That way, she got to see the manouvers from the foredeck perspective, handling docklines etc. I figured, this way she can better relate to how the crew has to interact, how the person at the helm and the others handling the fenders and docklines work together.
It was a total success. I told her how I was absolutely proud of her, how well she did. And I'm sure this will not have been our last time out together. My wife told me that she wanted to do a similar session out on the lake with sails, no engine.
I can highly recommend it. After all, it makes me much mor comfortable if I know there is someone else on the boat that can assist with manouvers, and can even be the captain instead of me. We will continue on building that confidence, and eventually we will both progress to a more advanced level.
Just my 22 cents.
Best regards, get your boats out on the water,
Kai
Therefore, I got in touch with a very talented sailor, marina manager in a closeby marina. We arranged he come by on a Monday afternoon when there is not much going on in our marina (very little traffic around the docks etc).
The three of us, we got the boat ready together, I explained the specialties of the MacGregor (since our instructor had never sailed one), explained my routine of getting the boat ready. Then we discussed what our objectives were for this appointment and following appointments.
Then we took off, the instructor and myself suggested she take the first turn. She was a little uncomfortable with the idea of steering the boat on her own. But instructor explained very casually what the next steps should be, that he would stand by, and not to worry. I went forward, handled the dock lines, and off we went.
To make a long story (and a beautiful afternoon) short, she did a TERRIFIC job. After manouvering around our marina a little while, doing turns, full circles, through outlets, .... we pacticed docking (with the wind, into the wind, T-Dock, Box, Fuel Dock, ... you name it). After a short while she really enjoyed it. Our instructor showd us a few tricks, some of which were totally new to me, too. Then, after a few hours, we docked pointing into the wind. Played around with the sails a little bit (furling jib out and back in, main sail up and down again, ...). Then I took the helm, and we basically did the same program. That way, she got to see the manouvers from the foredeck perspective, handling docklines etc. I figured, this way she can better relate to how the crew has to interact, how the person at the helm and the others handling the fenders and docklines work together.
It was a total success. I told her how I was absolutely proud of her, how well she did. And I'm sure this will not have been our last time out together. My wife told me that she wanted to do a similar session out on the lake with sails, no engine.
I can highly recommend it. After all, it makes me much mor comfortable if I know there is someone else on the boat that can assist with manouvers, and can even be the captain instead of me. We will continue on building that confidence, and eventually we will both progress to a more advanced level.
Just my 22 cents.
Best regards, get your boats out on the water,
Kai
-
Frank C
Nah - while I was boat shopping, I read advice articles that sounded just like you wrote above ... "Here's what not to do."aya16 wrote:I cant believe it none of you guys have wives/ girlfriends and do the same thing?
You just never stumbled across that article in the right time frame. Better late than never!
-
Sailfish
- Chief Steward
- Posts: 67
- Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 11:32 am
- Location: Los Angeles 2006 BLUE M 60 HP ETEC(Sailfish)
Sailing mate
This is something I too have just learned, in my quest for learning to sail it seems theres not enough time to teach what little I know. On my last sail about three weeks ago the conditions were simular to yours. I made a commitment to try to get my wife and daughter more time to learn to power and sail. My personal goal is to have them able to get out of the harbor and back if something should happened to me. So I quess in my effort to make it easy for them (by trying to do everything) I was robbing them of the fun I was having. I know I will sail most of the time but I am looking forward to working together. Oh I almost forgot I'll try not to get upset when things don't got just right. Good sailing ahead !
Phil
Phil
-
zuma hans 1
- Engineer
- Posts: 129
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:29 pm
Aya, sounds great.
Now do it WITHOUT the GPS. Those things go down at the damndest times.
Besides, it's great fun to orient with a compass in the fog. Nine times out of 10 I've hit the the target.
Best sailing day ever was the day it was sunny inside Channel Islands Harbor and socked in, but slightly windy, outside the breakwater. Visibility was about 30 feet.
I sailed just off the surfline back and forth between the foghorns at Port Hueneme and the Channel islands jetty. Just mnyself and one other boat out there, and would could hear each other from more than a mile away. And that's with the no engines, of course.
We could hear people talking on the beach, and could whisper to each other.
Navigated by ear. Lived to talk about it, too. Great fun.
Now do it WITHOUT the GPS. Those things go down at the damndest times.
Besides, it's great fun to orient with a compass in the fog. Nine times out of 10 I've hit the the target.
Best sailing day ever was the day it was sunny inside Channel Islands Harbor and socked in, but slightly windy, outside the breakwater. Visibility was about 30 feet.
I sailed just off the surfline back and forth between the foghorns at Port Hueneme and the Channel islands jetty. Just mnyself and one other boat out there, and would could hear each other from more than a mile away. And that's with the no engines, of course.
We could hear people talking on the beach, and could whisper to each other.
Navigated by ear. Lived to talk about it, too. Great fun.
-
aya16
- Admiral
- Posts: 1362
- Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:29 am
- Location: LONG BEACH CALIF Mac M 04 WHITE
ahh frank I want a second opinion lets hear from your wife
Just kidding but I got to tell ya I thought I was the perfect captain.
Without gps, ok but it was foggy and she has heard me rant and rave about it but never had a chance to actually see for her self other than gee
look at the pink lines and me saying this is awsome you can go anywhere in the water and know where your at all the time. She actually pulled up hawaii and plotted a course just for fun of course on her own.
Zuma I have to ask what happened that 1 time out of ten
Getting a teacher for her would to me be like getting a tennis pro to teach her while Im at work. I want to have her feel comfortable not date. Besides I dont want to hear about why I do this and why I do that when
Swen does it diff. and Swen really knows how to make sailing a real pleasure. Nawww Ill learn to do it, then Im the hero. Im not as young and good looking as you guys.
Pass the two buck Chuck will ya....
Just kidding but I got to tell ya I thought I was the perfect captain.
Without gps, ok but it was foggy and she has heard me rant and rave about it but never had a chance to actually see for her self other than gee
look at the pink lines and me saying this is awsome you can go anywhere in the water and know where your at all the time. She actually pulled up hawaii and plotted a course just for fun of course on her own.
Zuma I have to ask what happened that 1 time out of ten
Getting a teacher for her would to me be like getting a tennis pro to teach her while Im at work. I want to have her feel comfortable not date. Besides I dont want to hear about why I do this and why I do that when
Swen does it diff. and Swen really knows how to make sailing a real pleasure. Nawww Ill learn to do it, then Im the hero. Im not as young and good looking as you guys.
Pass the two buck Chuck will ya....
-
Scott
- Admiral
- Posts: 1654
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 12:46 pm
- Sailboat: Venture 25
- Location: 1978 Catalina 22 with all the Racing Goodies!! 4 horse fire breathing monster on the transom
As far as Pointers from me, thats like the stupid leading the blind. My wife over heard me giving relationship advice to a freind once and couldnt stop laughing!!If you guys have had the perfect mate that really wants to go sailing with you, then how about a few pointers from you.
I stumbled into my relationship and am not sure why she has put up with mt s**t for so long. I cut class in Manners 101 and had to take remedial Tact in summer school.
When we started sailing together I had 20+ years experience and she had never seenan ocean. She would get mad at me in 5 mph wind on our prindle with just the main out!!
Now many moons later she handled her duties 2 weeks ago in this pic (20+ winds with 25-30 gusts) withoout a peep!!! I was damn proud of her!!
She has even got pretty close to mastering the man overboard drill.
Along those same lines, the daughter hanging off of the bow (I know, Withot a PFD)is the same one that would sequester herself in the salon with a coloring book when the boat heeled more than 5 Deg!!
-
ssichler
- First Officer
- Posts: 342
- Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 9:22 am
- Location: Redondo Beach, CA 06 M 60hp E-Tec
Mike,aya16 wrote: Getting a teacher for her would to me be like getting a tennis pro to teach her while Im at work. I want to have her feel comfortable not date. Besides I dont want to hear about why I do this and why I do that when
Swen does it diff. and Swen really knows how to make sailing a real pleasure...
Good news. Just spoke with my buddy Swen the sailing instructor, he's more than willing to take your wife on as a pupil. You can note that Swen has no GPS and only uses dead reckoning and a sextant for navigation. Yeah I hate the guy too.
-
Dimitri-2000X-Tampa
- Admiral
- Posts: 2043
- Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:36 am
- Sailboat: MacGregor 26X
- Location: Tampa, Florida 2000 Mercury BigFoot 50HP 4-Stroke on 26X hull# 3575.B000
I'm sort of in the same boat as Scott, a lot of boating experience ever since I was a little kid. My wife came from the mountains and dreamed of being a marine biologist. When we were dating, I'd take her windsurfing camping out at Canadian hole. Talk about awesome...pitch your tent 10 feet from the water in the Pamlico sound, windsurf all day, party all night. She was very anxious to learn and did master the basics...never did it enough to get into intermediate or advanced though.
When I bought my first big sailboat a year or two after we were married, she was interested in driving the boat and learning how to sail... but then the kids started coming and the rules changed. Now she takes care of the kids and I take care of the boat..period. I completely single hand the boat even with 6 people on board, she won't even drop the anchor or put on a fender any more, I do it all. Now that the kids are getting a bit older, I am starting to teach them. My 7 year old daughter has already said she is going to the Bahamas with me when I finally get to go....maybe next year.. Before kids, we would rent a single engine Cessna and fly to the Bahamas, now I'd need to rent a King Air.
When I bought my first big sailboat a year or two after we were married, she was interested in driving the boat and learning how to sail... but then the kids started coming and the rules changed. Now she takes care of the kids and I take care of the boat..period. I completely single hand the boat even with 6 people on board, she won't even drop the anchor or put on a fender any more, I do it all. Now that the kids are getting a bit older, I am starting to teach them. My 7 year old daughter has already said she is going to the Bahamas with me when I finally get to go....maybe next year.. Before kids, we would rent a single engine Cessna and fly to the Bahamas, now I'd need to rent a King Air.
-
Mark Prouty
- Admiral
- Posts: 1723
- Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:52 am
- Location: Madison, WI Former MacGregor 26X Owner
That is my kind of sailing.-
argonaut
- Captain
- Posts: 531
- Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 8:23 pm
- Location: '97 26X, Yammy 40 4s, Central Fla.
One of the few annoying things about this board is it's lack of participation by folks of the female persuasion. I kind of wish there was a place here all their own for them to chat about things from their perspective.
My boat decision was driven by a desire to share my love of sailing. My wife had sailed a bit, but it was me who wanted to be under sail again. Now, if I want her with me she has to be happy, and if we're heeled over 30 degrees with water splashing in the cockpit, she's probably not happy if she's not accustomed to what's happening and understands what's going on. Women are intellegent creatures and don't often repeat experiences they don't enjoy. The saints who endure harsh words and unrealistic expectations just to make you happy will have their own boat to sail as they see fit in the next life - and you may be on it! You'll probably not get them back on a boat you skipper if you're a big domineering oaf.
Lots of alpha males, "type As", whatever you call them, have sailboats. Tyrants sail alone.
So, some friendly advice. Make sailing pleasant for companions and you stand a better chance of them going more often. Sailing can be as easy, or as hard, as -you- make it. And it's not all about the sailing. We've had priceless evenings, anchored in calm waters watching sunsets enjoying cool evening breezes, and nights when we just sat talking and gazing at the bright starry sky. The memories you kids will have of good times on board will last lifetimes.
So:
Make the boat a place your so/spouse/mate will want to be. (Clean, tidy,comfortable, sanitary, etc...) Just because you're happy using a coffee can shouldn't mean -they- will be.
Communicate well and do it in a way you'd want it done if you were in their position.
Share tasks so noone gets bored.
Challenge, but don't push too hard. Be forgiving. This is supposed to be fun!
Practice safety skills, (use PFDs,MOB drill, quick stop, throw line, etc.) I consider a cap or fender overboard a drill and we treat it like a MOB just to go through the motions. The more confidence you mate has the more at home she'll feel. Your health could depend on it.
And if there's any doubt about a lady's ability to handle a boat, remember who won the Vendee Globe!
Sail more.
My boat decision was driven by a desire to share my love of sailing. My wife had sailed a bit, but it was me who wanted to be under sail again. Now, if I want her with me she has to be happy, and if we're heeled over 30 degrees with water splashing in the cockpit, she's probably not happy if she's not accustomed to what's happening and understands what's going on. Women are intellegent creatures and don't often repeat experiences they don't enjoy. The saints who endure harsh words and unrealistic expectations just to make you happy will have their own boat to sail as they see fit in the next life - and you may be on it! You'll probably not get them back on a boat you skipper if you're a big domineering oaf.
Lots of alpha males, "type As", whatever you call them, have sailboats. Tyrants sail alone.
So, some friendly advice. Make sailing pleasant for companions and you stand a better chance of them going more often. Sailing can be as easy, or as hard, as -you- make it. And it's not all about the sailing. We've had priceless evenings, anchored in calm waters watching sunsets enjoying cool evening breezes, and nights when we just sat talking and gazing at the bright starry sky. The memories you kids will have of good times on board will last lifetimes.
So:
Make the boat a place your so/spouse/mate will want to be. (Clean, tidy,comfortable, sanitary, etc...) Just because you're happy using a coffee can shouldn't mean -they- will be.
Communicate well and do it in a way you'd want it done if you were in their position.
Share tasks so noone gets bored.
Challenge, but don't push too hard. Be forgiving. This is supposed to be fun!
Practice safety skills, (use PFDs,MOB drill, quick stop, throw line, etc.) I consider a cap or fender overboard a drill and we treat it like a MOB just to go through the motions. The more confidence you mate has the more at home she'll feel. Your health could depend on it.
And if there's any doubt about a lady's ability to handle a boat, remember who won the Vendee Globe!
Sail more.